This is the experience of "coming" too soon. What “too soon” means depends upon your own feelings. You might come as soon as you think about sexual activity, have sexual contact with another person, before penetration is gained, just after entry, or before you and your partner have had the chance to enjoy the activity. Any of these may be felt by yourself to be “too soon”. You should take into account your partners’ views too – what might be premature for you might not be for your partners.
What causes premature ejaculation?
There are many causes including:
- Lack of sexual experience and the anxiety you feel about this
- The novelty of a new sexual partner
- The place where you are having sex
- Your penis may be overly-sensitive to the stimulation it feels
- Some people have suggested that it is an inherited, safety mechanism from the days when our ancestors had to have sex quickly to avoid being eaten!
- Others think it may be learned behaviour.
How can premature ejaculation be treated?
Treatment for premature ejaculation can be relatively uncomplicated and very effective, but if it is left untreated and the difficulty remains then it may eventually lead to some degree of erectile dysfunction due to the anxiety it causes.
The benefits of experience and patience may be enough to solve any difficulties but if not there are some other techniques you can try.
The "Squeeze "technique
This technique is useful when you feel you are about to come and do not want to.
What to do:
When you feel ready to come, either yourself or your partner should grasp the head of your penis between the thumb and two forefingers. You should squeeze it quite hard, for 3 to 4 seconds, or until the sensation passes. Any loss of erection should be easily regained. Using this technique helps you to gain control over your ejaculation and with time you should be able to control when you ejaculate without having to use the squeeze technique.
"Stop – Start" method
This method is all about gaining some control over the whole process of coming and can be practised during masturbation – having a wank – when there is perhaps less pressure on you. You may not even have to use the squeeze technique at all – it may be enough to stop the stimulation of your penis for a time when you feel close to coming, and then start again when the feeling has gone. This is sometimes known as the “Stop – Start” method.
Do remember that there comes a point in the whole process when your body takes over and you cannot stop coming. What you are trying to do is learn when that point is near and to postpone it to suit your needs.
The use of an anaesthetic cream or gel before sexual activity might also be considered to reduce the sensitivity of your penis, but bear in mind that too much might numb the penis and prevent ejaculation completely. You would need to discuss this treatment with your doctor so that they can prescribe it.
Antidepressant medication – One of the side effects of some anti-depressant medication is delayed ejaculation. Therefore, sometimes certain antidepressant medication can be prescribed not for depression but for premature ejaculation. If this was being considered as a treatment, it could only be prescribed by your doctor, and only after very careful thought about the advantages and disadvantages.