Sex and Ageing

There is no single measure of what is normal in sexual activity – it varies from person to person. You have to decide what has been normal for you throughout your own life and consider any changes based on that. Growing older may well affect the quantity of sex you experience, but it does not necessarily have to affect the quality. You can expect to slow down in most physical activities you undertake as you get older, and sex is not any different. The desire for sex may also decline due to hormonal changes in both men and women.

In men, more prolonged manual or oral stimulation may be needed to attain an erection which itself is not as rigid as before. Orgasm may be less frequent and less intense. Ejaculation may be less forceful and the period of time before another erection is possible is likely to be longer.
In women, dryness may make penetration or stimulation of the vagina more difficult, more irritating or even painful. This can usually be easily resolved by the use of a lubricant. Following the menopause, with vaginal shrinkage, women may even find sex more intense or pleasurable. The lack of anxiety about becoming pregnant may even contribute towards greater sexual enjoyment.
It is important to remember however that although pregnancy is no longer possible, protection is still required against STIs, especially for individuals entering into a new relationship or with different partners.

A few other things can be taken into consideration to improve your sex life in later years. Routine can lead to boredom, which in turn can lead to a lack of arousal. Experimenting may intensify stimulation, and this can be as simple as changing the location or time at which sex usually takes place. The use of erotic materials or sex toys might also introduce an element of novelty and enhance arousal.

You may choose not to engage in any sexual activity at all, at any age, and this is your right. You may simply engage in masturbation or a variety of activities with any number of partners of either sex. Today in our modern society, there is a much more open and relaxed attitude to sex than there has ever been. You have a greater freedom of choice now than probably at any other time. You have the right to make your own choices as long as you and any other partners are happy and consent to any of the sexual activities you choose. The FPA have developed a resource for People over 50 – Relationships and Sexual Health.